Not the FAM You Thott

Late in the evening on Wednesday, the Rabble received an anonymous tip informing us that none other than the Honourable Kyra Mullen-Steward, MP for Whitby and Deputy Leader of the FAM party, had an active profile on the illicit extramarital affair site hushaffair.com.

Naturally we believed this was just another weak propaganda attempt from Rat, who is trailing in the polls. Nonetheless we fulfilled our duty to the Canadian people by thoroughly investigating. What we found far exceeded our expectations.

Upon visiting the site we found Mrs. Mullen-Stewart’s profile. Using the handle “Political Thott” she details how she has become “tired of [her] mundane family life, exhausting children and husband” and is “looking for another caucus.”

We reached out to Mrs. Mullen-Stewart who told us

“I assure you my husband has been aware of the profile from the beginning. When you’ve been married as long as we have sometimes you get a little creative in spicing up your life! Even us old folks like to have fun!”

Hon. Trevor Mullen-Stewart, FAM Party Leader, gave a response that was suspiciously close to his wife's: "Of course ya know, at our age, we want to make sure our relationship isn't too stagnant so we like to spice things up here and there." He continues to ask us to make sure his "kids don't read about this."

It appears that FAM may not be as innocent and wholesome as we initially thought. Only time will tell if Canadians will shrug off this scandal, or if come election time they will decide, like Mrs. Mullen-Stewart, that they're looking for a different daddy.